Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
