You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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