I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
