So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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