when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
