you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
