you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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