my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
