He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I looked at my own cervix.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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