when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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