We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
