That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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