I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
