She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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