Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
