all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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