No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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