if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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