Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
