never play flip cup with pint glasses
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
