You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize