She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
