If that was your dad, he is hot
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
