Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
