well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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