Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
