And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize