I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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