Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
