Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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