is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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