honey bunches of taint.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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