can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I miss vodka workout Fridays
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
