i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
