i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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