he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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