i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
organizing the empties. That sober.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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