I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
