Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
