Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
