I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
