you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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