I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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