Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
