so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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