For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
