Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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