Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
