just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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