We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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