i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
as a side note pls kill me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
