I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
