if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
