i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize