Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
