O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
