The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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