so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
